ingredients for a paradigm shift

my mother's senior picture. raised in a very affluent family, a ballerina, well educated, well traveled, cultured, chic, and beautiful.



my dad was a massively intelligent band nerd. he raised his 4 brothers and sisters in poverty because my grandmother was too busy worrying with her 8 marriages (before my dad turned 18!) to have time for her kids.

i have no clue how they got together. i can't imagine they had a moment where they found something of a kindred spirit in each other and decided to marry. but they must have, and stayed together for 18 years. i guess i can see that my mom was moved by my dad's hardship, but she had no idea the strength of the personality she was dealing with. i can see that my dad was dazzled by my mom's beauty and in awe of her privileged lifestyle, but he had no idea that it was all skin deep.



they had me. i love them and thank them for giving me the tools i needed to break the paradigm.

Spring-ish!

it's so exceptionally spring-ish outside that i'm having to restrain myself from trimming the crepe myrtles, pruning back the rose buses, feeding the lawn, and planting the strawberries (yes, i am a glutton for caterpillars and disappointment). somehow i know that i'm jumping the gun by at least two weeks. i always look forward to the cooler part of the year, but i tire of it very quickly.

yesterday, Bryan got home at a decent time so i let him stay with the kids while i went to the Y to workout. i was in the gym for about an hour and a half, then i walked the 1/2 mile track a couple of times. i was the only one out on the track and it was lovely. i daresay there are few things better in life than a walk in silence...

...and i had a thought. during the walk i was completely in tune with the rhythms of my body; my feet hitting the ground, my breath, and my muscles collaborating to move me. it was surreal, it was happening completely out of time with the modern world.

what was the rhythm of life when transportation was on foot or by horse? what is the rhythm of life now? how do these changes change us? feeling and controlling the operation of your body in meditative silence is awareness and mindfulness; riding in a vibrating capsule with music, phone, and (gods forbid!) sometimes tv is numbness and detachment from the self, not to mention one's surroundings. how do these things change our fiber? are we not energy, attuned to vibration and rhythm?

it was a good walk.